I don't know if you've noticed, but there are a couple of hokie things written into the story of Cinderella. Today I would like to focus on Prince Christopher's conduct at Cindy's exit.
Synopsis: Boy meets girl. Boy smitten. Boy shares feelings. Girl bolts. Boy stands there wondering What The Heck?
Actually, there's more to it than that. There's a clock striking midnight, and Cindy's clothes and everything else reverting to its previous form. Cindy has to beat the clock and get out of Dodge (and many other cliches not mentioned here) lest Prince 1 see her as she really is (smoking hot babe, but not Ball worthy). It seems to me the clock is a convenient plot device. I'm no prince, but in my experience sharing feelings too early with the chick tends to result in her bolting, clock or no clock. But I digress.
After dancing at the Ball, sneaking off to the garden, and Prince 1 somehow determining in 10 minutes that Cindy is The Woman Of His Destiny, she abruptly leaves. This is not realistic. Again, not a prince, but identifying the Woman Of My Destiny requires, on average, 30 minutes of intense, uh, scrutiny. But this is not about me.
So, what does Prince 1 do when Cindy, The Woman Of His Destiny, leaves?
Multiple choice.
1. He chases her down and tackles her.
2. He has the Royal Guard chase her down and tackle her.
3. He rushes out to get the license plate number of the Pumpkin Carriage.
4. He reviews security camera footage to get the license plate number of the Pumpkin Carriage. (Impractical. In the old days, security camera tape had to be sent to Rochester, New York for processing. The wait would make for a sub-par theatrical experience.)
5. He rushes to the edge of the garden AND STOPS THERE WONDERING What The Heck?
I think #3 is the most amusing, but alas folks, it's #5!
And why #5? It doesn't make any sense until you look at possible explanations.
1. Prince 1 is fatigued. This is straight out of the script. "I am fatigued", says Prince 1. And this is before all the Bob Fosse business there in the ballroom. Maybe it's true. After all, Prince 1 couldn't chase down a chick in an unwieldy ball gown wearing one glass slipper? Come on.
2. Short-term memory loss. Once Cindy is out of sight, she's out of mind. I know, hard to believe. But this concept was explored to comedic effect in the movie Finding Nemo. So there it is.
3. You Got Lucky by Tom Petty was playing on Prince 1's IPod. Girl if you can do better than me, bolt...yeah bolt, but remember, Good love is hard to find (repeat)...you got lucky babe (repeat)...when I found you (guitar solo). (Impractical. You Got Lucky wasn't recorded until years after the Medieval period.)
4. Prince 1 decides chicks aren't worth the effort. Totally understandable, happens to everybody occasionally, and possibly a good explanation of why Prince 1 is in this pickle (lack of heir to throne, forced to give Ball, etc.) to begin with.
5. It is necessary as a plot device.
#5 again. See what I mean? Hokie.
One thing more. Everything reverts to its previous form at midnight, but Cindy leaves a glass slipper behind. A size 11! But that's not important right now. The glass slipper remains a glass slipper. It does not revert to an antique glass coffee percolator, a fake Mexican paper mache rutabaga, or anything else. Fairy Godmother 1 says she can't create something out of nothing, but here she is handing off the glass slippers that conveniently appear...from WHERE? For all we know she pulled them out of her (unprintable).
And if that imagery does not disqualify this show from attaining a "G" rating, nothing will.
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