For some reason I stowed away under the stage to observe the mice/horse transformation, and boy was it essay-worthy. Four puppet actors, four dancing horse women and a tech all in a space smaller than my Yugo. (Note: I don't really own a Yugo, this is just a comedic device. Do you even know what a Yugo is?)
Fairy Godmother casts a spell on the mice, which causes the puppet actors to have to exit to the floor below from the tiny ledge on which they are perched (wedged might be a better word). Their options for egress are a small step ladder and a rickety table. Simultaneously, a staircase to the stage has to be placed on the ledge by tech man, and the four dancing horse women have to ascend to the ledge, climb up the stairs and get on stage. Their options for ascent are a small stepladder and a rickety table. The same ones! Which are still being used by the departing puppet actors. The process took about 30 minutes when I observed it, but director's note on the matter seemed to indicate he was looking for something more in the neighborhood of 5 seconds.
Not to worry. The Department of Stage Innovation has researched the matter and has developed the following recommendations for improving the efficiency of this process.
1. Trampoline. This will enable the puppet actors the quickest possible exit - jumping off the ledge. Once the puppet actors are comfortable jumping off the ledge, a couple bounces on a trampoline is just the thing to soothe that performance stress. Cannonball!
2. Fireman's pole. You don't see firemen answering the call going down pokey, slow stairs, or clambering over rickety tables. Folks in a hurry go for the pole (you keep your salacious thoughts to yourself).
3. Sliding board. They evacuate planes this way, inspired by small children evacuating high points in playgrounds. Efficient and fun.
4. Another stepladder. To replace the rickety table. Perhaps one-way traffic on each stepladder would create the dramatic sought-after traffic flow improvement. Look what it did for Charles Street and St. Paul Street in Baltimore.
5. Water soluble personal lubricant. It seems like one component of the problem is friction. And I read in a major mainstream publication that this product reduces friction. I've also heard from mainstream advertising on legitimate broadcast, on-line, and print media that it is available at major retailers.
Further research is warranted. Watch for The Department of Stage Innovation's volunteer recruiting campaign to determine which option is optimal, and sign up today. It's all in the name of Science. You wouldn't stand in the way of Science, would you?
Fairy Godmother casts a spell on the mice, which causes the puppet actors to have to exit to the floor below from the tiny ledge on which they are perched (wedged might be a better word). Their options for egress are a small step ladder and a rickety table. Simultaneously, a staircase to the stage has to be placed on the ledge by tech man, and the four dancing horse women have to ascend to the ledge, climb up the stairs and get on stage. Their options for ascent are a small stepladder and a rickety table. The same ones! Which are still being used by the departing puppet actors. The process took about 30 minutes when I observed it, but director's note on the matter seemed to indicate he was looking for something more in the neighborhood of 5 seconds.
Not to worry. The Department of Stage Innovation has researched the matter and has developed the following recommendations for improving the efficiency of this process.
1. Trampoline. This will enable the puppet actors the quickest possible exit - jumping off the ledge. Once the puppet actors are comfortable jumping off the ledge, a couple bounces on a trampoline is just the thing to soothe that performance stress. Cannonball!
2. Fireman's pole. You don't see firemen answering the call going down pokey, slow stairs, or clambering over rickety tables. Folks in a hurry go for the pole (you keep your salacious thoughts to yourself).
3. Sliding board. They evacuate planes this way, inspired by small children evacuating high points in playgrounds. Efficient and fun.
4. Another stepladder. To replace the rickety table. Perhaps one-way traffic on each stepladder would create the dramatic sought-after traffic flow improvement. Look what it did for Charles Street and St. Paul Street in Baltimore.
5. Water soluble personal lubricant. It seems like one component of the problem is friction. And I read in a major mainstream publication that this product reduces friction. I've also heard from mainstream advertising on legitimate broadcast, on-line, and print media that it is available at major retailers.
Further research is warranted. Watch for The Department of Stage Innovation's volunteer recruiting campaign to determine which option is optimal, and sign up today. It's all in the name of Science. You wouldn't stand in the way of Science, would you?
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